I'm an idiot

You probably already knew that, but let me give you another example to add to your collection.

Cincinnati Reds opening day tickets are hard to come by. I've been (unsuccessfully) trying to get them for several years now. Would I like to go to the game? I suppose. But based on the demand for these tickets, what I'd really like to do it get opening day tickets, sell them, and use the profits to buy tickets to go to several games.

As usual, I go online at 9 a.m. and try to buy tickets. On my first click, the website gives me an opportunity to purchase six SRO (standing room only) tickets. Wow--I got through! That's great. But standing room only--will people be willing to pay extra to stand and watch the game? Sure, there's a half million people who want to go to the game and only 30,000 or so tickets. And sure, this is the first time I've actually gotten through in five years of trying to purchase tickets. But I don't know--I'd hate to spend a whole $60 and get stuck with the tickets. I'm sure I don't know of any friends or family that would want to go to the game.

As I ponder, a small countdown timer clicks unnoticed in the upper-right hand corner of my screen. Hey, there's a time limit to make your purchase? I didn't know that. He who hesitates is lost. I'm lost. I try again and again to connect a second time, but lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place. The game sells out in about 14 minutes.

Tonight, as I surf the web, I finally decide to measure the depths of my stupidity. It doesn't take long. eBay auction #6607155563. Six standing room only tickets: $399.

I want to go home...

...but I can't, because the expressway is currently closed. Icy roads? A major accident? A buckled bridge? No, none of these are the cause of the closure. The highway is closed due to a presidential motorcade. I'm all in favor of protecting our president, and totally understand the need to close the roads when he is travelling. However, it seems like they could plan it a little better. Every time he comes to town, he arrives right at the beginning of rush hour. I-71 north is bad enough on a normal day, but start rush hour out with 30 minutes of closure and it's not going to recover for hours. I realize the president is a busy guy, but if he's going to visit a major city and shut down the roads maybe he could sh0w up at 3 p.m. or so. They could order him some LaRosas and maybe play a little X-Box 360 to fill the time. Plus, it's not like he's here for an important meeting or a national crisis. He's here for a $4,000 a plate fundraiser in Indian Hill. (No, I'm not going.)

Picasa

I really like my Olympus digital camera, but the one thing about it that bothers me is the red eye in the photos. It seems like any picture that uses flash has terrible red eye, and if I use the red eye flash the moment is over before the camera gets around to taking the picture. I typically have used Photoshop and Photoshop Elements to remove red eye from photos. Recently, however, I discovered Picasa. This free utility from Google allows you to fix red eye, lighting, and other aspects in digital photos. It also allows you to create screen savers, SimpleViewer web pages, and much more. And best of all, it's free. I highly recommend it.

Self delusion and paranoia

I recently visited Go Bananas comedy club to watch Marcus, a friend and former colleague, give his stand-up routine on "open-mike" night. Marcus was always a funny guy at work, and he actually had a very funny routine that had the audience rolling in the aisles. Several of the "comedians", however, were absolutely TERRIBLE. I don't mean they just only made me giggle or crack a smile--I mean they were about as funny as a funeral or car crash. It made me very uncomfortable being in the audience while these people performed, having to pretend to be amused--I left the club having added to my stress level instead of getting de-stressed. How can these people actually think they're funny?

As I've mentioned before, I'm a bit addicted to reality television--including American Idol. The early shows, however, that have the tryouts of people who sing about as well as me are as painful as the comedy club. I've always thought that these people MUST realize that they can't sing and are trying out on a dare or to get their 5 minutes of fame on TV. In many cases, though, they leave in tears--their dreams seemingly shattered. Are they incredible actors/actresses or did they really think they were that good? I'm starting to believe that they really think they are talented.

It kind of makes you wonder--at least it does for me. What is it that I do that I think I'm pretty good at that others look at me and say, "Can you believe he actually thinks..."? (By the way, that's more of a rhetorical question--I'm not looking for comments.)